A funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies

  Dirty Night Before Christmas (6)

Posted to alt.dss.hack by EEng (unmaileeng@budget.net) on 2002-12-18.
Twas the night before Christmas and Santa was pissed,
His suit was not ready, he was feeling quite dissed.
The reindeers were hung over from partying with the elves
And the gifts were not wrapped nor stocked on the shelves.

The sleigh was a shambles from the night before
When the elves got drunk and crashed it and a runner they tore.
To make matters worse the angel had not yet returned
With the tree Santa had sent him to find and adorn.

So with great resolve and commitment St Nick made repairs,
In hopes that his efforts would prevent any despair
He fastened a board for the sleigh on to race,
Since the runner was totaled, this would have to replace.

Then while his suit soaked in the tub he gathered the toys,
And boxed, stamped, and bagged them for all the girls and the boys.
Now on the line by the fire his clothing to dry
As he tried to find something to make the sled fly.

Some flying pigs from the stable just might do the trick
But who ever saw pigs fly and pulling St Nick?
The gifts in his bag went in the sleighs back,
His suit now clean and dry hung on the clothes rack.

Good ol Santa got dressed and entered the sleigh
When who should show up but the angel (he'd been gone for days)
Here's that tree that you wanted even though I'm real late
What the heck does it matter as long as its great.

So YO Santa dude, where shall I stick it to be
Which is why to this day, the angel sits on the tree.

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