A funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies


  Gay Night Before Christmas (2)

Posted to unknown by Anonymous on unknown.
Twas the night before christmas and all through the house
clothes were strown all around and all about.
A pair of shorts and some boxers I could see
and something else which-dare I say?-resembled a tree.
No branches were found, it appeared quite smooth
excluding some veins which appeared where it grooved.
Standing so tall, I admired it's girth
it's weight in gold couldn't measure it's worth!
As I grew closer, I shook with desire!
To mount this tree would surely ignite my fire!
I strained and I huffed as I sat on this tree.
I felt as if something would rupture inside of me.
With each stroke brought discomfort, but as time wore on
I found the pain I had felt was completely gone.
My nuts, they rose! My teeth did chatter!
I put a sock in my mouth so the bastards wouldn't shatter!
I grabbed my cock 'cause something went crazy!
This tree I had sat on had become all sick and lazy.
I jumped off of it as quick as I could,
but it was too late.it did no good.
It laid there all flaccid in a pool of wet mess
so I stroked myself while it took a little rest.
And wouldn't you know it, just as I gave the final stroke
that log started to rise and quickly awoke!
But I was too far gone-there was no turning back.
My head thrashed about-I had an attack!
So I laid there next to the log, now a tree.
I looked up at it, and it down on me.
"Wow!!!", I said with detectable delight.
"It's been a good day and one hell of a good night!"



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