A funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies


  Gay Night Before Christmas (3)

Posted to unknown by Anonymous on unknown.
'Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the land,

Nothing was moving,
Except Kevin's hand on his gland.

His nuts were a hanging, and he was stroking with care,
His body was writhing, and his butt was all bare.

His blow up sex slaves were bent over beds,
while KY Jelly tubes danced through his head.

He beat it and beat it and came really quick,
"Go to sleep now," he said to his dick.

It stood at attention, and would not lie down,
Obviously, without doubt, the most rigid around.

When out on the porch, there arose such a clatter,
Kev got off his knees, to see what was the matter.

He threw on his boxers and wiped off his hand,
He looked out the window, and so did his gland.

With the moon in the sky, and a bitter cold chill,
His penis peeked out, and laid on the sill.

When, what to his three eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and nine tiny reindeer.

With a well hung driver, so long, and so thick,
He knew in an instant it must be St. Dick.

Quicker than Kevin, this well hung man came,
He shot off his load and called out some names!

"Go, Chrissy! Go, Andy! Go Jackie and Bob!"
"Oh, Missy! Oh, Candy! You can suck on my knob!

Now, Chico and Rico and Paul don't despair,
When we get back home, I'll take care of you there!"

As they bound towards Kev's home, while up in the sky,
He gave them a stroke and a shot from one eye.

So up to the housetop the reindeer they flew,
With a sleigh full of sex toys and St. Dick, too!

And then in a second, he heard on the roof
The reindeer conversing and a low gentle "poof".

His eyes how they twinkled! His palms were all hairy!
His cock looked like sausage and was red as a cherry!

His cute little mouth, it seemed just to glow,
His rock hard erection, as tight as a bow.

He pulled out his stump and lubed Kevin up,
He rammed it on in, Kevin squealed like a pup!

He gave him one stroke, two strokes, three strokes, four.
Kevin screamed to St. Dick, "Please give me some more!!!"

Kev was twitching and twisting and all full of joy,
St. Dick said, "You've done this before, I can see that now, boy!"

St. Dick pulled out and came on Kev's back,
He wiped off his dick, and grabbed for his pack.

He said "Kev, I like how you quiver and quirk,
But off I must go, as I still have to work."

And laying a finger aside of his nose,
And grabbing his rod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh with a clink and a clang,
"Let's go now, I've got more butts to bang!"

But Kev heard him proclaim as he drove out of sight,
"I'll be back next week, and
I'll fuck you all night!"



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