A funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies


  Gay Night Before Christmas (4)

Posted to alt.pro-wrestling.wwf by Dora,rach & friends on 2002-12-21.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through usenet
Prince's little panties were all sticky and wet;
Silk stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that a cocksucker soon would be there;

The drag queens were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of real vaginas danced in their heads;
mistress bitch in her 'pleather, and Prince in his cap,
He had just settled and the crapper for a long winter's shat.

When out on the Chinese passion swing there was such a splatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what the fuck was the matter.
Away to the rumpus room I flew like a flash,
Pulled up Prince's dick and saw one nasty rash.

The moon on the breast on the breast implants of Swass (blow)
Gave the luster of mid-day to the fuck machine below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight midget slaves with cheap beer.

With a little old driver, so white trash and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Dick.
More rapid than eagles wings with a bible quote, his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called to Prince by name;

"Now, DASHER! now, EXOTIC DANCER! now, PRANCY and VIXEN!
On, CUMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZED!
From the tip of the cock! to the shaft and the ball
Now Swallow it, Swallow it! Swallow it all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount Swass til he's dry,
So up to the bar- the coursers they blew,
With the mouthful of spunk and Pickles too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of Prince. that big poof.
As he drew in Santa's cock head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney the Easter Bunny came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his whiskers were all tarnished with cum and soot;
A bundle of sex toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Heffner just opening his pack.

Princes eyes -- how they twinkled! The dimples on his ass.. So hairy
His cheeks were like roses, his SO MISSED his cherry!
Prince's little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was all covered with spunk from his last blow

The stump of his dick, he held tight in his teeth,
And the midgets it encircled its head like a wreath;
Prince has a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of ky jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, oh fuck how I laughed.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know he was just all spent.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the reindeer and midges - circle jerk
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his dildo, to his vibrator and rave whistle,
And away flew his shit stains like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A HELLA GOOD-NIGHT."



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