A funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies


  Sexual Night Before Christmas (3)

Posted to alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.voyeurism by mgguy@mailexcite.com on 1997-12-24.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pad
everyone was fucking, and no one was sad.
All of the dicks were covered with care
With hope a new tax deduction in nine months won't be there.

There was cousin Joe with wife Bess
what they did, I can't guess.
There was big Pete and his sister Kate;
with a two headed kid, they were told not to mate.

And Ma with her strap on and I with some cream
had just started trying to get my butt reamed.

The noises were many.
The complaints they were few.
When Santa came down
I had to ask, "Who knew?"

He blew down the chimney
He came into my room.
I said, "What do you want
you red clothed buffoon?"

He looked at me speechless
He took hold of ma's strap
He said, "What's going on here?"
What is all this crap?"

After wiping his hand off
He stood there in awe.
He could not believe
Everything that he saw.

With Ma in her garter
and me in blue silk
He said, "This sure is different
than cookies and milk."

He took out his camera
he put on his flash.
He proceeded to snap pictures
said, "I can sell these for cash."

As things got hotter
Santa started to sweat.
He took off his red suit
to see what he'd get.

His dick, it was tiny
just like his reindeer.
He said, "I don't give it a thought
once I get it in gear."

He then porked Ma
and went looking for more.
When he got through with me,
was I ever sore.

He said it was Rudolph
that gave him his speed.
And Donner and Blitzen
help satisfy his need.

"But this is far better!"
He said with a grin.
"Get me young women
I'll give you more kin."

The two headed kid
set him back for a sec.
But finding an opening,
he said, "What the heck.".

He took Fanny and Babs.
He took Carlos as well.
When he came up for air
He sure looked like hell.

There was Brook and Aunt Maud
cousin Fred and the twins.
He screwed Rover. And Peaches,
he sucked on her nins.

He then said "I'm hungry.
What can I eat?"
When Fred came in
Santa sucked on his meat.

The reindeer were at the windows
looking in with despair,
when all then saw Santa Claus
running around bare.

Cupid said to the others,
"This is the eighth time this eve.
If we don't get him out of here
I'll really be peaved."

All of a sudden,
with a rush and a roar,
the reindeer reared backed
and they broke in the door.

The reindeer, they ran in
some elves came in too.
I looked at them with interest
though my dick had turned blue.

As he wiped off his dick
and proceeded to dress
He said," I sure had a good time,
but my balls are a mess."

Some say this is theory.
Others say it's not true.
But I'm the one who was there,
Say, wasn't that you?!



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