A funny collection of Twas The Night Before Christmas parodies


  Sexual Night Before Christmas (5)

Posted to alt.humor,alt.jokes,alt.tasteless.humor,alt.tasteless.jokes,aus.jokes,eunet.jokes,rec.humor by funnybone@lineone.net on 1999-12-22.
'Twas the month before Christmas,
And just for a stunt,
Santa had his face buried
In Mrs. Claus' cunt.

There was a loud noise,
And Santa jumped with a start.
It seems Mrs. Claus had cut loose
With one hell of a fart.

All Santa could do was
gag and spit.
His face and his beard
Were all plastered with shit.

Mrs. Claus was still on the bed,
Panting and groaning,
Hollerin' for Santa to
Please get his bone in.

Santa started laughing and shouting,
And with a loud cheer,
He said "I know what I'll do,
I'll screw one of the deer."

They're cleaner and neater,
And don't you suppose,
They'll be just the right height,
If I stand on my toes.

Santa ran from the barn
Shaking his head at the noise.
"Jesus Christ, how was I to know
All the reindeer were boys?

It was getting about time
To head for the south.
Santa was hoping to be rid
Of the taste in his mouth.

As the reindeer proceeded
To line up all in fours,
Santa yelled "Merry Christmas Mrs. Claus
This vibrator is yours.

While Santa rode in the dark night,
His ass frozen to the sled,
He started thinking of Mrs. Claus
At home in her warm bed.

Santa spun around in mid air,
And headed back to the pole,
They say he never got farther
From that hairy old hole.

The moral of this story,
Will end with this bit,
Any job that you do,
You just have to take shit..........



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